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Poams

Q: What are Poams?
A: Poems that defy human understanding in their stupidity

Ode to Nature

The flowers and trees are nice to see,
And so is the grass and the dirt.
But the birds and the bees aren't nice to me —
They sting me and poop on my shirt.

— August 1968

An Annoyance

Horses, horses, horses
Flying through the sky,
Smelling up the pretty clouds
And drawing lots of flies!

The geese and ducks and pigeons
Are walking on the ground.
Who wants to fly up in the sky,
With horses all around?

— August 1968

In a Courtesan's Budding Eye

In a courtesan's budding eye
  lay three pence value of sodden lace
Her whitest smile and gentle grace
  a lonely pardon from the morning sky
Lay neath the lorry in the sun
  removed from folly, far flung from sorrow
Leaned toward the meadow in bitter waste
  in chains of iron taunting death denied

What have we here in rounded southern style?
  A languid lilting summer vale
A tragic molten antitype of winter's guile
  in darting confidence arisen from the hail
Is eating at her sorry humbled inner pang
  a candelabra lit with starry glitter sheen
Was never seen in confidence so sweetly sang
  as was in former days and some from in between

Gumptionless Geezer

Song lyrics, sung to the tune of Eleanor Rigby by Paul McCartney. You might have to be familiar with the running section of this Web site, particularly the book Running Through the Millennium, to appreciate this piece.

Ah, look at all the speedy runners
Ah, look at all the speedy runners

Gumptionless Geezer
   picks up his pack at the Expo in Tucson, A-Z.
Dreams of P-Rs,
Goes to the start line,
   wearing the shorts that he bought in a fit of elan.
What were they for?

All the speedy runners
Where do they all come from?
All the speedy runners
Where do they all belong?

Look at him later,
   writing the words of a journal that no one will read
No one responds.
Look at him working.
   Editing text in the night when there's no one online.
Nobody cares.

All the speedy runners
Where do they all come from?
All the speedy runners
Where do they all belong?

Ah, look at all the speedy runners
Ah, look at all the speedy runners

Gumptionless Geezer
   died on the road and gave up with a 10K to go.
Nobody cared.
Blew it completely.
   Wiping the sweat from his brow as he walked through the crowd,
They all cheered loud.

All the speedy runners
Where do they all come from?
All the speedy runners
Where do they all belong?

— December 16, 1999